Yesterday evening I was listening to my youngest son talk, while having dinner in a restaurant. This time he was expressing, somehow subdued, his criticism “as the truth”. It was still bad and righteous criticism, but knowing it would make him lose power if he gushed out all the spite, he studiously tuned it down.
You see, if we are present we can learn so much from each other!
I saw myself like in a mirror. Of course, I was also present to the way I was appraising our complaints: his complaints being “lame”, mine totally “correct”.
I observed myself distinguishing the ‘off-ness” of his arguments, then I heard myself telling him that the person he was criticizing was not doing those things to spite him or someone else, but because they did not know any better.
I was telling him that when someone is so competitive that all they seem to care about is
* how to “win”, or
* have the last word,
it does not mean that they are “bad”, they just do not think clearly.
If the “hole” they fill inside is not filled by whatever they have and they need to go get more and more, it is not because they are bad or avaricious, it is because their thinking is confused.
If they demand and give nothing back, if they do not acknowledge or appreciate anybody and anything, if they cut corners and would not stretch their minds a millimeter beyond what “they are paid to do”, if they do not reply to emails, honor their word, speak without meaning what they say, talk about you behind your back, all these and more, are signs of a person being asleep, not of a person who has something against you, personally.
NOTHING is personal, though it might appear that way!
And if you do not take it personally, get pissed off with “them”, whomever or however they may be, YOU are free.
What is funny, you might even enjoy their company, and they might even end up doing what you want them to do.
People are not the way they are because of you!
Their behavior only reflects on their state of being,
just like yours reflects on you!
This article is not something to read and ‘enjoy or not enjoy’, ‘like or not like’, you can use it to become aware and let go of behavior, which is not authentic therefore not working for you.