The Landmark Assisting Program is the most spectacular program I know. It is applied philosophy. In terms I discovered later, like Karma Yoga, assisting does nothing more than prepare the mind to receive knowledge.
The assisting program gave me the ability to apply to my own life the insights I would get in the courses, thus supplying me with some of my most powerful experiences and helping integrate the knowledge I gained. Assisting was the greatest gift after the course.
The applied knowledge made my life what it is today, what I call, for lack of a better word, ‘stellar’.
Sometime in 1984, when I was participating in the Advanced Course led by Lon Golnick, a Scandinavian Est Trainer, I invented for myself a ‘possibility of being’ so daring that even though I had had an intuition about it, I could not bring myself to voice it until that moment.
I remember people lining up in two rows, waiting for their turn to go up on the stage and declare their possibility in front of everybody. I had postponed the moment for as long as I could, but eventually my turn came. So, I was standing in line repeating over and over and over the possibility of being I wanted to be in my life from then on. I was so preoccupied by saying it correctly that I was not present to anything or anybody around me. All I could hear was ‘Who I am is the possibility of being an Est Trainer’, ‘Who I am is the possibility of being an Est Trainer’…
The exquisiteness of the experience I was having, the freedom from the near constant diminishing, judgemental chatter in my head allowed me to say the possibility flawlessly.
When my turn came, I put the right foot on the step leading up the stage, and to my overwhelming surprise, my mind went totally blank. Walking mechanically to the front feeling nothing, hearing nothing and seeing nothing, it was like I had disappeared. All I was aware of were the expectant faces of the people in the room and the silence so thick you could cut it with a knife. Nothing seemed to move. When my mouth opened, what came out was expressed in a cold, powerful, authoritative, clear voice that had totally bypassed my conscious mind. I heard myself saying, ‘Who I am is the possibility of making this education available to all humanity’!
I froze in that position while people applauded enthusiastically. I was shocked by the magnitude of what I had just declared when Lon said, ‘Connie, would you declare that possibility also in Hebrew?’ I did, and my future was sealed. I never knew nor could imagine it would be possible, but looking back, my life became the expression of that possibility. All that happened after that moment and all that I did were in the context of that possibility. I had BECOME my POSSIBILITY. This book is another expression of that, and anytime I connect to the experience or share about that moment, I am moved to tears because of the grace I was given and I am filled with empathy for all human beings.
In the Est Training, the constraints I had in my life were exposed and then blasted away. In the Advanced Course, after drifting like a boat without a rudder for so long, I got the direction of an inspired life.
From “You asshole, YOU caused it!”